I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
