PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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