He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
