perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
