We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
