Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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