man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
