at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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