Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize