I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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