a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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