She said her name was "party"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
