So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
