i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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