I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
