He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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