He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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