why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
