If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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