I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The air was thick with penises
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize