Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
