just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
