Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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