You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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