Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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