I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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