I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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