He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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