i was born a porn star she said
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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