and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
