"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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