Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
