also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
