Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
