lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
