im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
