When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
