Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
