I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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