time to smoke my breakfast
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
third nipple confirmed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
