In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
