the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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