I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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