I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
