You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
