saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize