What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can't special order awesome
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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