Already got asked if we're dating
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
