Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
