i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
