How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
