I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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