I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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