worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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