I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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