haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
