id be glad to
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize