I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
