Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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