I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
