maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
