Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
