This is not my ceiling
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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