We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
