I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
